


Dark Voice

by LokiLover84



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 19:22:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17731145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiLover84/pseuds/LokiLover84
Summary: Hyungwon wakes in the middle of the night to a familiar, hated voice telling him how much of a failure he is. It's up to Hyunwoo and Jooheon to calm him.





	Dark Voice

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so. I worked a bit of what I've experienced into this story-the voice in Hyungwon's head sounds a lot like the one in mine when things get really hard. I have never, however, woken from sleep because of it, and I'm thinking that's more like a panic attack, which I've never had, so if there's anything I should change about it, please let me know. 
> 
> Um, that being said, I'm gonna go ahead and put a ***TRIGGER WARNING***. There's nothing too in-depth, but I'd rather be safe than sorry, so if you have really bad depression or panic attacks, you might skip this, just to be safe.

_ Not good enough.  _

 

The words come from some place deep inside Hyungwon’s brain, and he frowns in his sleep. It’s almost as if a dark shadow is whispering into his ear, and he’s pulled slowly from an exhausted sleep. 

 

_ Worthless.  _

 

The tendrils of sleep release him faster now, and he moans softly as he swims toward consciousness. 

 

_ Why would you think anyone would actually like you? You’re flawed, useless, ugly. You can never be as good an idol as the other members of your group.  _

 

A pained gasp erupts from between his lips as Hyungwon’s eyes snap open, darting around but unable to see more than vague shapes in the darkness of the room. His mind was racing, offering up random, frightening ideas as to what the shapes were, rather than what they were, and his breath came harsh and panicked as he scrambled away from the open space of the room, curling into a small ball against the headboard of the bed. His fingers came up to tangle in his hair, and he yanked the silky strands viciously, whimpering in fear. 

 

His sudden awakening and subsequent actions weren’t lost on the other two occupants of the room. Jooheon woke faster than Hyunwoo, and had the presence of mind to click on the lamp next to his bed, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow. He glanced first at Hyunwoo’s bed, to find the older man sitting up and rubbing at his eyes, hair a tangled mess. 

 

They both looked to Hyungwon at the same time and suddenly sleep was replaced by deep concern. Jooheon scrambled from his bed, almost face planting on the floor, followed closely by the group leader. 

 

They piled onto Hyungwon’s bed, approaching him carefully, aware that he was prone to lash out when he had one of these episodes. Jooheon was the first to reach out to touch, fingertips brushing his hyung’s shoulder gently. The gentle caress managed to catch Hyungwon’s attention, and he turned his wide eyes toward Jooheon. Jooheon and Hyunwoo both breathed sighs of relief that Hyungwon hadn’t sunk so far into this episode that they couldn’t reach him. They had all seen him at his worst, in a headspace so dark their lights couldn’t pierce it, and they’d had to wait, hopelessly, for him to fight his way back. 

 

Thankfully, this didn’t seem to be one of those times, and Hyunwoo thanked God that Jooheon had such an amazing ability to wake at the smallest things. 

 

Hyunwoo’s attention turned back to Hyungwon when the younger man reached for him hesitantly. His plump lips parted and a soft plea emerged. 

 

“I’m  _ not worthless.” _

 

Hyunwoo choked on a cry, moving closer to Hyungwon and pulling him close before grabbing at Jooheon’s pyjama shirt and tugging him against Hyungwon’s other side. 

 

“Oh, no, baby, you’re not worthless. You’re so beautiful.”

 

Jooheon’s voice was soft but firm, and Hyunwoo nodded. 

 

“You’re perfect, Hyungwonnie. No matter what the dark voice in your head tells you.”

 

Jooheon made a soft noise of sadness when Hyunwoo felt the warm wetness of tears begin to fall on his shirt. 

 

“Hyungwon, oh, baby…”

 

It hurt Jooheon, physically, to see his hyung in such pain, and he wrapped his arms around him as much as he could with him being mostly in their leader’s lap, burying his face in Hyungwon’s neck and kissing the creamy flesh. 

 

“W-will you...Stay with me? I don’t want to be alone.”

 

Hyunwoo crooned. 

 

“Of course we will, baby. For as long as you want.”

 

There was some slight adjusting and soft huffs as the three moved to press the lengths of their bodies together so that they all fit. Hyungwon would up on his left side, facing Jooheon while Hyunwoo hugged him from behind. Jooheon gave him a small smile, and Hyungwon returned it slowly. Jooheon leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on Hyungwon’s lips.

 

“Love you, Wonnie.”

 

Hyungwon murmured back to the younger man before closing his eyes and exhaling softly, willing himself back to sleep. Hyunwoo followed, rubbing one hand soothingly up and down Hyungwon’s arm as sleep slowly came to claim them. 

 

Hyungwon had no more dark whispers in his ear that night.


End file.
